My Favorite Poems

--------------------------------------------------------

My parents told me if I swallowed bubble gum it would stay in my stomach for 7 years
My teacher told me if I swallowed a watermelon the seed would stay for 10 and grow a tree in my gut
When someone touches you your skin cells replace after 4 weeks
So I know your fingerprints are no longer a part of me
But you didn’t just touch my skin
You touched my heart but you only stay in my blood flowing through my veins for about 120 days
The bubble gum in that respect I swallowed as a kid lasted in my body longer than you did
And this is supposed to make me happy
The body I am in has no memory of you
But my brain does although not for long
In 10 years I may only remember the color of your eyes or our old song
But I will never be able to rid you of my being
Because I let you touch what no one else has before
I let you touch my soul
And my souls has no cells to regenerate
It has no memory capacity to exceed
It has no mass like a seed that will one day pass through me
My soul is permanent and the things I let touch it will forever be stained
Even as future me tries to remember your name
I will still carry the pain you left while not remembering its source
Because you did more then touch my hand
You touched my soul and now I have all this hurt and love you left
I have nowhere for it to go
All I see is ghosts all the time of the ones who left their mark on me
I wish my soul was as good as my brain at turning things to forgotten history
Because my soul has no concept of time
And it yearns for your touch everyday even if my mind has no memory of what it was like
- Kori Jane

--------------------------------------------------------

Small changes might not seem like much at first but over time they compound
Its like planting a seed you water it everyday even though you don’t see immediate results
Because you understand that it takes time and that it will end up growing eventually
And that is the energy you should have for your own growth too
-Everyone Dies But Not Everyone Lives

--------------------------------------------------------

And of course he will find someone else
We are young of course he will find someone else
In fact he will find more than one
But that doesn't make his memory of me watered down now does it
He's giving my memory some people to hang with in his head
And he will feel us dancing with each other in his mind
And one day he will get married and tell us to quiet down
And although we cannot leave his memory
we will sit and we will marvel at the beautiful bride
And we won't wish it was us anymore
And we will stay seated in the corners of his soul
Aside for rare moments he will he will call us out
Say consoling his future son about a heartbreak
Or when he will allow himself to remember me
for the sake of his crying daughter
And explain that loss is good
Loss is proof that there was love
And he will explain that we must all learn at some point
Loving someone is not enough
That when a relationship ends it doesn't have to be wasted time it was just completed
And he will allow me to come out of his memory
as we pass our old restaurant
And he will wonder how i'm doing and i will be doing good
And he will be sitting next to the man i found after him, in my mind
While my husband sits at the front of it
And i was seldom let him out
Aside for moments where i laugh to myself that i ever got angry he had found someone else
Of course he will find someone else
And i hope she makes him happier than i tried to make him
And of course we will find other people
And of course we are content with the loss of the other
Because that meant there was real love there doesn't it
And that means there must be so much more love i will find with the guy who will be permanent
- Kori jane

--------------------------------------------------------

The ghost of me will catch up to you
When your in your car just driving and you go past a spot we used to go to
You’ll look as you drive past and see the ghost of me standing holding the memories we shared long ago
And after that when you try to move on you’ll search for me in every girl you meet
And I’ll haunt you
My scent will match theirs and you’ll see my shadow lurking over them
You’ll look for my face in theirs
Never being able to escape me
And when you succeed in life and want someone who will celebrate you
You’ll look for me
But I won’t be there
Or when you lose a loved one and you need those arms to cry on you’ll look for me
And you’ll find me
You’ll go to me searching for the comfort I once gave you
And your arms will go right through me
You’ll see me everywhere succeeding and doing what I love
But you will not be able to reach me
You’ll stick your arm out hoping I will grasp on but I won’t
I will be everywhere and you’ll find me in everything
But you won’t ever be able to reach me again
The ghost of me will forever haunt you
- Unknown

--------------------------------------------------------

Here's a poem I love that I wrote (TW)

--------------------------------------------------------

Hell is being 5.
When you're too small to question him
Too young to know wrong apart from familiar
When he makes it seem like a game
And you believe love is supposed to hurt like this
Because no one was telling you otherwise

Hell is being 6.
When reality starts to blur
What you thought you knew starts to slip
And your stomach twists in knots but you smile anyway
Because he still calls it a secret
And you are too afraid to break it

Hell is being 7.
When silence becomes survival
Wrapping his hand around your throat
His touch becomes a prison
His hands shape into weapons
His grip becoming a command
And your skin bears the cost of war
And your body reduced to conflict and fear

Hell is being 8.
Trying to get people to notice
Showing discomfort
Yearning for freedom
No one sees your body language

Hell is being 9.
When you realize no one is going to save you
No one is going to notice
They don’t see the bruises
They painted over the truth with hope

Hell is being 10.
When your body is begging for gentle peace
Skin inflamed
Soul blistered
Praying not to wake up
Choosing death over more years of abuse
But you hate yourself for wishing that

Hell is being 11.
When the truth slips out
In a therapy office
Or under a bright light
It takes 7 people
And a million tears to believe it

Hell is being 12.
When you fall in a hole he dug for you
One that you start digging deeper for yourself
Pain became routine
And his memory whispers you deserved it
Even in your sleep
It’s an inescapable nightmare

Hell is being 13.
When healing feels like betrayal
When forgetting him is forgetting yourself
Because he wasn’t just a monster
He was the only version of a father figure you knew
And part of you still aches for that comfort
Even if it’s wrapped in chains
Even if it hurts

--------------------------------------------------------

Another poem that I wrote :) (TW)

--------------------------------------------------------

I still feel his hands on me
The forceful words “don”t tell your mom”

I used to love the color purple
Until I realized it was the color my arms and legs were

I used to love physical touch
The love that came with it
The warm hugs
Until he showed physical touch
His version of physical touch doesn’t come with love
It comes with force


My mom received many signs
They were clearer than a crystal
Yet I don’t blame her
I can’t blame her
It’s him I need to blame
She was jumping from job to job paying bills
How could I expect her to notice


My dad was my first heartbreak
The heartbreak that shattered my soul
The person to give me my first scar
Scars that go deeper than a knife
These scars don’t go away
They follow me for the rest of my life


But I can’t blame him because he’s damaged too
From the absence of his parents
He was just unhealed


Who do I blame then?
Myself
I can’t blame myself
I know I didn’t deserve it
And it wasn’t my fault


What was the reason
What’s the reason for someone having to endure so much stress
So much pain
There is no explanation
No reasonable excuse
So I just have to learn to live with it

--------------------------------------------------------

Another poem that I wrote :) (TW)

--------------------------------------------------------

Smile but not too much
Be confident but only if it flatters
Sit up straight
be light enough to carry
Light enough to toss aside


The smaller you seem
The louder the applause


Be an object
Have no emotion
Get used


You learn early
That eyes will take you apart
Whether you give permission or not
You learn that innocence is currency
Your punished for losing
And punished for keeping


Look younger
Look softer
Look unaware
Vulnerability is attractive
But only if its pretty
Only if it behaves


Dont ask who profits


This didnt happen by accident
The world didnt rot on its own
It was rehearsed
Packaged
Defended loudly
By people who insist they're good


You drown in images
And blame the water
You break things
And call them fragile
Every system that feeds you
You rename nature
Every boundary crossed
You call it curiosity


Anger makes you uncomfortable
Because it interrupts the feed
Because it asks whos paying
And who's bleeding quietly offscreen


If everything is desire
Then nothing is wrong
And if nothing is wrong
Then nobody has to stop


So the noise becomes louder
Common becomes normal
Emotion becomes unattractive
Anger gets called rude


If something turns rotten the second you touch it
Maybe it isn't fragile
Maybe your hands were trained


Smile
But not too much
Be perfect
Not real
Be seen
But never heard